My nose, my crying
by Wakarimasen lol
Summary: A Saki crackfic, in the most literal sense. Teru decides to visit Kanbara, what kind of things will they get up to? Rated T for frequent drug references and suggestive themes. I don't own Saki or any of it's characters, please review if you like. LoL
1. Chapter One: My nose, my crying

**One: My nose my sky**

You know that feeling when your eyes are shut, yet it's not dark? The suns accusatory rays blared onto her face, and she wasn't seeing darkness. It intruded her sleep, and she blinked once, twice, as she peeled her eyes open.

"Wahaha" she mumbled in a way that suggested she was clueless as to why she was staring blankly into the sky. She was also clueless as to why she could see the sky, she wasn't at home, or did home not have a roof? Was this situation even funny? She wasn't sure. In fact, she didn't laugh out of humour; it was simply some sort of reaction instinct she had developed over the years.

It took her a while to realise the sun wasn't even shining. In addition to that, she wasn't outside, how was she staring at the sky? She focused her eyes on her surrounding environment and began taking in every last drop of visual information.

"Wahaha….." a little more nervous than the first, she realised she was in Tsuruga Academy's mah-jong club room, "Kanbara? Are you alive…Kanbara?"

The voice assaulted her mind and caused some thought provoking questions. She wondered if she was alive. Perhaps she took too much last night. Suddenly her brain flashed crimson and her consciousness came gushing through like blood to the head.

Kanbara was blabbering, "YUMI CHIN! WAHAHA!" she blurted, grabbing Yumi's shoulders violently and shaking them without realising she had ever grabbed something.


	2. Chapter Two: My nose, my window

**Two: My nose my window**

Haramura Nodoka was the first person in Kiyosumi High School's mah-jong clubroom. She sighed to herself, and wondered where everyone could possibly be. As she sat alone, blushing at the thought of what she should say to Miyanaga san when she arrived, a loud sliding noise startled her thought processes, and she clutched her beloved plush penguin Etopen to her incredibly over exaggerated breasts.

"Buchō?" she asked in a frightened voice, despite knowing the president's student council duties meant she was often the last to arrive. Some rustling sounds ensued, and suddenly a figure stepped into visibility.

"Well if it isn't everyone's favourite middle school mahjong champion" the figure sneered in a slightly mocking manner. Nodoka frowned at the sight of Fujita Pro, a pro mahjong player who had shown her and Miyanaga san up some time ago; she was still bitter about this. What on earth is she doing here? Nodoka wondered, her eyebrows creasing. She feigned niceties with some polite conversation, "Good afternoon Fujita Pro, may I enquire as to why you are in our mahjong club room?" Fujita didn't appear to care for such an effort and looked down at the girl,

"I can't tell you the truth, so I'll lie and say I'm here to visit the President, which is a simplified version of the truth"

"Well she's unlikely to be here for a while; did you honestly have to break into the club room to find her?" Nodoka said in an exasperated tone. She was clearly bothered about the intrusion.

Perched on Fujita pro's right shoulder was a suspicious looking black duffel bag, the imbalance it was causing to her posture implied that it was slightly heavy. She glared at it with curiosity, before uttering.

"What's in the-"

Fujita interrupted before Nodoka could utter another word.

"It's none of your business; I'm not going to wait around as my other clients are waiting. Tell Hisa I visited."

Fujita climbed back out of the window without saying another word. Nodoka was left standing alone, clutching Etopen and feeling completely confused.


	3. Chapter Three: My nose, my apocalypse

**Three: My nose my apocalypse**

"Kanbara, I have no idea what you were doing yesterday….Momo found you passed out in a maid café with saliva frothing out of your mouth" Yumi put forward in a concerned tone of voice.

"Wahaha, is that so Momo?" Kanbara piped in, her eyes as wide as new dinner plates. There was a silence as everyone tried to search for Momo.

"Okay, even I don't know where she is, you've probably mentally traumatised her Kanbara" Yumi added in her husky and serious voice. Kanbara's mouth had been wide open since she had awoken. In fact, she was sure she hadn't blinked at all either. This behaviour wasn't irregular; it's just how she was. She snickered to herself; she knew it would be a disaster if they were to find out prematurely about the cocaine composite mah-jong set she had ordered off Fujita pro.

"It would be frightening if you were to die on us, Kanbara" Mutsuki added curtly from the corner of the room. Kanbara walked over and slapped her across the face. Kanbara shouted, "Wahaha! That's just how the new president should behave!"

"In fact, I ordered a new mah-jong set for us to try out. It's my last year in Tsuruga, so I thought I'd get it as a small gift to celebrate mine and Yumi chin's graduation Wahaha. University is a big step, and it's going to be emotional to leave Tsuruga behind, it's been a good three years"

The clubroom beamed, as anticipation began to build for the gifts reveal.

"You honestly didn't have to Kanbara…" Yumi mumbled, slightly embarrassed by being dragged into the cause for celebration.

"Wahaha, don't be like that Yumi chin! Despite popular belief, I am the president of the Tsuruga mah-jong club, and I feel it's necessary to reward everyone for their kind treatment! Besides, we spent too much time playing LAN mah-jong; it's about time we played on an actual mah-jong set!" Kanbara's eyes were wide with excitement. In her mind, Kanbara admitted to herself that she was concerned about the fact that Yumi would work out the smell of cocaine, having smelt it wafting from her uniform one too many times…

After eliminating any sort of anxiety about the drug laced mah-jong set; Kanbara stood by the window and looked at the greying sky. The sky was post apocalyptic and the blend between the cerulean blue sky and the dark grey suggested there was going to be a storm coming along. She observed the composition of the clouds; they seemed so peaceful and gentle. She released a barely audible sigh, and hoped she'd packed an umbrella.

The pitter patter of rain disturbed Kanbara's thoughts as she drove home through the battering onslaught of heavy rain. Her Volkswagen had seen better days as it smelt distinctly of opium derivatives. She hit a red traffic light and peered into the back of her van, where there lay a curious array of items. Some duct tape, binding rope, and a few dustbin bags with unknown contents. Bits of foil littered the stained floor and there were a couple of syringes and burnt out joints scattered around. The former were the tools in an unintentional kidnap while stoned. The harsh weather conditions were making it increasingly difficult to see anything, and she was glad she hadn't taken anything tonight otherwise a crash would be imminent. Red flashed yellow flashed green.

She carried on driving, but soon realised her stomach was growling for something to eat. She ignored the desperate pleas for now. The liquid splattered lighting bothered her, as she wondered how she was going to see the welcoming neon lights of a restaurant in this blurred weather.

She was scouring the landscape as best as she could, but couldn't find anywhere. Kanbara decided to visit her usual haunt, not knowing that she wouldn't even end up eating. Soon she pulled into a minor road, a small industrial area with electricity poles and cables haphazardly strung in the air like Christmas decorations. She parked into a small crevice, and stared down the dim lit alley, the rain obscuring a large number of the signs protruding from the walls. A small red lantern at the end of the alley was glowing with a mysterious aura, the rain blurring the lines and making the light appear larger than it was. The rains song had increased in temp. She intended to dodge as many of the sharp cold drops as she could manage, but it was far too heavy and she found the liquid piercing her uniform and soaking her hair as she ran to the bar at the end of the street.

She pushed open the door and a series of beckoning hanging cloth signs gently caressed her head as she stepped into the threshold of the bar. Inside she could hear laughing and loud conversation:

"Ahahaha, this is brilliant stuff, where did you get it from?"

"If I told you that, it would ruin the magic"

The voices were familiar to Kanbara, but she was too busy absorbing the homely atmosphere of the bar to step any further into the dimly lit room.

The bar was small and clearly antique; its mahogany surface hadn't been polished in a while and was dusted with chippings and marks from the large number of glasses that had adorned its surface. The air in the bar was clouded by a sweet smelling smoke with traces of another smell that Kanbara knew all too well. There was a narrow corridor leading to a battered wooden staircase, the walls painted a neutral cream colour and plastered heavily with posters and newspaper clippings. The floorboards were wooden and creaked with every movement. She glanced over at the bar; the shelves were littered with alcoholic beverages and glasses in pristine condition.

"Ah! Kanbara! It's been a long time! How have you been?" a smooth voice asked, a masculine voice laced with feminine charm. Kanbara walked towards the bar to be greeted by Inoue Jun, the owner of this particular bar. Jun went to Ryuumonbuchi High School, revered for its high Ojousama population.

"I've been well lately, despite having passed out in a maid café yesterday Wahaha…." Kanbara made a face, rubbing the back of her head with her right hand. Jun shrugged and laughed, "That's not too unusual for your usual Thursday evening routine! Be careful with yourself Kanbara, passing out certainly isn't a good sign. I think you should stay off the heroin for a while" Jun offered her advice with her hands on her hips, her height engulfing the smaller frame of Kanbara. Kanbara turned her head to the side, an expression that read as 'perhaps you're right' adoring her rain washed face. "Wahaha, you're right Jun…" Kanbara sighed.

"Well don't worry about that now; you're here to have a good time! Why don't you go on ahead into the bar; everyone's been waiting for you! I'll bring your usual round for you" Jun said as her lanky frame disappeared behind the bar.

Kanbara descended the small staircase into a room with even less light and even more smoke. The experience was a lot like playing silent hill alone on a Saturday night with a bottle of vodka. Seated at an ancient mah-jong table were Takei Hisa, Fujita Pro and Amae Koromo, all regulars. All of them appeared to be admiring the tiles holding them carefully between their fingers. The smoke splintered her eyes, it was strong, and no doubt it was whatever new thing Koromo was smoking.

Amae Koromo, another student from Ryuumonbuchi high school, was renowned for smoking anything you could roll into cigarette paper. This was clearly an influence from a good friend of hers, Fujita Pro. Infatuated by Koromo's adorable demeanour, she was seldom seen without a pipe polluting the air with wafts of certain opium derivatives. It was all very Alice in Wonderland, Kanbara thought to herself. A hearty laugh jerked her from her imaginary visions.

"Oho! Kanbara, I didn't notice you there! Come and join us!" Fujita Pro exclaimed as her pipe exhaled a plume of smoke. Koromo's lips parted from her cigarette holder, from which a slim, long cigarette was placed.

"Oh do come and join us Kanbara, Fujita has brought something delightful for us to test out" A wisp of smoke passed across Hisa's face, and she was greeted with a manic laugh from the student 'congress' president of Kiyosumi High School. Having noticed Kanbara's presence, Hisa proceeded to brush her shirt sleeve across her nose. As she did so, a few particles fluttered onto her skirt.

"Yo, Kanbara" She managed to slur; the kick must be hitting her hard.

"Wahaha…" Kanbara took a seat next to Hisa, and grabbed Koromo's cigarette holder for herself. She inhaled a mouthful of the potent substance. Instantly her lungs convulsed and began to converge into each other, the light in the room turned incandescent as she felt her eyes growing wider and wider. Suddenly she was walking through a tunnel, but it wasn't a tunnel. She was walking down the staircase, the staircase in the bar. Green was flashing amber, not yellow. It's not yellow, it's amber. Is amber a shade of yellow or is amber a colour? She waved her hands out because her eyes her lungs her eyes her lungs were burning. Her hand was yellow, was she Chinese? The feeling passed and her nose began to cry. My nose, my crying. The tears were streaming. It felt amazing, euphoria in its purest form.

"So? Did you enjoy it?" Koromo asked, removing her cigarette holder from Kanbara's hand, her lips parted slowly and curled into a peculiar smile. Kanbara's mouth was wide open, this wasn't a new experience to her, she was sure she spent more of her life stoned than she did breathing. Any air particle that entered her lung was tainted, any pill she swallowed was either taken in large quantity or incredibly harmful; this was her life. If she had ever used tissues on her nose it was to mop up the dusty remains of cocaine so she could snort them again from the tissue, she wasn't one to waste. Taking time to recover, Kanbara answered Koromo's question, "Koromo, I have no idea what that is, but it's one of the most wonderful substances I have ever inhaled". Kanbara sunk into her chair, eyes shut; it felt good to be back here again. Recently, Kanbara had gotten herself tangled in the web of heroin, her veins had buckled under her addiction, the kick had died down once she grew used to it, so she had decided to cut down.

"Oh, Kanbara, you need to try out these mah-jong tiles Fujita brought over from Thailand." Hisa said, holding up an ordinary looking mah-jong tile.

"I brought these in especially, Hisa wasn't in to receive the shipment, she was too busy smoking pot with her buddy from Kazekoshi" Fujita smirked, gesturing towards a large black duffel bag.

"You managed to get Fukuji to take drugs?" Koromo was surprised. Hisa winked and placed one arm on the table, resting her chin atop it.

"Of course, I had to find something to keep her away from that repulsive little cat girl" She snarled smugly. Fujita snorted her pipe thrusting forwards with her hand, "Good lord Hisa, as if you didn't have enough girls worshiping you already, now you've moved into Kazekoshi. Be gentle with her, she's a fragile little thing"

"Wahaha, these look superb, but what are they laced with?" Kanbara asked inquisitively, holding the three of dots in her hand, peering deep into the carefully carved engraving.

"Ah, well" Fujita paused to inhale a rush of opium.

"It's laced with A-Grade cocaine." Fujita was cut short by the arrival of Jun, but enough had been said; Kanbara was already crumbling the tile into a precise line along the table.

"Here's your vodka Kanbara, sorry for the wait, Touka demanded some of my strongest solvents" Jun said apologetically, placing the vodka along the table with a shot glass on the table trying to avoid interrupting the perfect line of white dust particles.

"Thank you Jun, Wahaha" Kanbara lowered her head and placed a finger onto her right nostril holding it closed as she didn't want it to cry. Conversation continued in the background as she prepared herself to snort the line of cocaine. She hadn't snorted anything in a while as she'd just recovered from a phase of injecting.

"Imagine taking these to the nationals"

"My my, that would be a hoot wouldn't it just Fujita?"

"It would certainly make the commentating more exciting, that much I'm sure"

The three of them laughed in synchronisation as Kanbara vacuumed the particles with her nose, taking care to avoid spillages or missing a single particle. Instantly after she had taken the entire line, she proceeded to drink around 4 shots of vodka in succession. The world merged into an explosion in her mind, her brain was compressing itself, as if it were removing itself from her head. Her chest was convulsing with the pure cleansing sensation of the vodka, the flavour irresistible to her delicate taste buds. As she held her head back and savoured the combined rush, she heard mah-jong terminology being shouted in the background.

"Oh please Fujita, haitei raoyue is far more superior to rinshan kaihou" Koromo protested, purple smoke wallowing from her mouth.

"If it's so superior, how were you beaten by it, Madame Koromo?" Hisa exclaimed, leaning back and taking a prolonged sip of what appeared to be tea. Kanbara began to remember Koromo's drug fuelled performance at the prefectural qualifiers. In the midst of her substance fuelled imagination, she saw Koromo's head replaced with the moon. Suddenly a sharp ringing sound penetrated her swishing imagination.

"Excuse me, that'll be Kazekoshi's captain" Hisa flipped her phone up and precariously ascended the small staircase, it was evident she was trying to achieve privacy from this group of drug fuelled mah-jong players. Koromo laughed a maniac's laugh, throwing her long blond hair back and clutching desperately onto the harsh sides of the table.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA, Fukuji is probably lying in bed wondering why Hisa isn't next to her" Koromo sputtered through a nose full of sherbet. Kanbara had no idea where Koromo had got sherbet from, nor why she had snorted it. Fujita grasped Koromo and pulled her closer into her own body.

"Oh Koromo, you are so adorable" Fujita leered, her state of poisoning causing her to caress Koromo's face, instead of her hair, as intended.

"Wahaha, look at the time, I'm driving home so I should get moving" Kanbara stumbled up onto her feet.

"Don't forget your mah-jong set before you leave Kanbara" Fujita separated herself from Koromo's body, which was currently convulsing with manic laughter, she was in absolute hysterics. Kanbara was surprised about the effects the sugar had on Koromo's juvenile looking body. "I hope to see you two soon" Kanbara exclaimed as she shakily grasped the mah-jong set Fujita was holding out to her.

"Stay safe Kanbara, Touka is going to have an epileptic fit when she sees this one" Fujita gestured towards Koromo, who had clearly underestimated one of the substances she had inhaled.

"Wahaha, I'm sure Touka is having an epileptic fit on her own accord" Kanbara chuckled, as she crept along the wooden floorboards, the creaks documenting her every movement. As she waddled towards the small staircase, she heard snippets of Hisa's conversation.

"Oh, Mihoko…."

Kanbara grasped the walls and slid her hands along their smooth surface, guiding her along the rickety staircase. She clambered up, the mah-jong set still clutched in her right hand. She escaped the smoky cataclysms of the basement and fixated her eyes straight ahead, back on those beckoning cloth signs. Hisa was curling her hair around her finger; her face flushed a certain shade of scarlet. Jun was invisible behind the bar, and Kanbara lifted her right hand to wave at Hisa. Hisa waved back, and a soft thud made Kanbara realise she had lifted the hand that held the mah-jong set. Hisa chuckled and continued her rather intimate sounding conversation. Kanbara picked it off the floor and left the bar.


End file.
